Time Out

18 Feb

It’s a Tuesday. That means I need to post.

See the verb I used there? Need.

That’s because I’ve said from the start of this blog – 2.75 years ago – that I’d post every Tuesday. And I have.

Every single Tuesday for almost 3 years.

And suddenly I’m tired. Suddenly I’m irritated. Suddenly it’s an obligation. Suddenly I stopped feeling guilty about my terrible track record for visiting other people’s blogs and started feeling cross and resentful about it all.

I have needed the discipline of knowing that I had to post every week. But now the discipline feels less like self discipline and more like parental discipline…i.e.: punishment.

I am not quitting. I have tons of ideas and topics for future epiphanies! (Hmmm…planned epiphanies…no comment.)

But I need a break.

Mondays come along and I find myself thinking, “Shoot. What am I going to blog about tomorrow? What do I feel like posting? Bother.”

I don’t want this blog to be a bother.

I feel like this is controlling me.

I have less time to write my book because I need to write a post.

And the whole point of beginning the blog was to support the book. Not the other way around.

I am beyond thankful for what this blog has brought me. I have made virtual friends who have become real friends. I have been introduced to worlds and to people I knew nothing of and I have benefitted from that tremendously. I am so thankful for all of you – bloggers and non-bloggers alike.

Because of A Fine Day For an Epiphany I was asked to begin The View From My Window – my second blog over on a network supported by my local newspaper – and because of that blog I am now a for-real free-lance writer for my local newspaper and even have a monthly column with them.

In other words, I’m getting paid.

I LOVE THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED.

But that job, in turn, takes its own share of time – time that I do NOT resent because it’s paying off – but there, too, it means I have less time to write my book. Or books. The one that I can’t find an agent for because, in part, I have no time to look for one. And the other one that I’ve begun which will be more like this blog in tone/feel/topic.

In short, I need more time. And taking a break from this blog is going to help with that.

No, I am not quitting. And part of me feels like I’m copping out by posting less than once a week. But see, I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. And I don’t want to post less-than-perfect posts…which I’ve been doing lately. I did this in part to improve my writing…not just to throw stuff out there.

Also, I need to define my focus for this blog. And I think that getting this new book idea into shape will help with this.

I hate good byes. Or, even though this isn’t really good bye, I still hate to say, “See you later.”

But I just have to.

I am planning on taking the rest of February, all of March and possibly even April off.

Who knows, maybe in a couple of weeks I’ll say, I WAS CRAZY! I MUST BLOG! I don’t know.

I do know that in March I’ll be traveling to London for a week and that I will blog about that when I return.

So I won’t be gone entirely…just taking a break.

I am not sure how I’ll feel when I hit “publish” today. Relief? Regret? Sadness?

I don’t know.

I think I’ll just hit it now and see…

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14 Responses to “Time Out”

  1. Sandra Anderson February 18, 2014 at 10:26 am #

    Sounds like you are bogged down – maybe blogged down? Sandy

  2. Minnesota Prairie Roots February 18, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    I’ll miss you Gretchen, but I totally understand. You have a lot of writing obligations plus your family and volunteer work.

    London? Sweet!

    • Gretchen O'Donnell February 18, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

      Yes, I’m excited! And it’s not even for C’s work – all for fun!

  3. Doreen February 18, 2014 at 12:34 pm #

    To everything there is a season……………It’s ok. If it’s sad, it’s cuz we say it’s sad. If it’s exciting (a new chapter) then grab it and run with it!!!! Please, know that we’ll be here…..waiting………sob……….. (just kidding……..well, maybe………LOL!) Major hugs and go forth and write……whatever, and wherever, you are led to write!!!!!!!

  4. gardenfreshtomatoes February 19, 2014 at 5:09 am #

    Hang in there, Honey…we’ll all be here when you get back.
    Enjoy London! :)

  5. Gwen Stephens February 19, 2014 at 6:14 am #

    Although I will miss you, I completely understand. I have gone through the same thought cycle many, many times. Sometimes a blog serves its purpose, as it has for you — it’s led you to paid writing work (what a concept)! I also think you know when it’s time to move on. If that’s your decision, you’ll know. The answers will come to you in time. But taking a break is a good place to start. All the Best, Gretchen.

    • Gretchen O'Donnell February 19, 2014 at 9:23 am #

      Thank you – I don’t think I’m done forever, but it feels good to have a break. Free. less weighty. And yes…what a concept!!

  6. Clyde Birkholz March 12, 2014 at 12:57 pm #

    I am flirting with stopping all blogging, both my own and on others. With my hands so bad, it would be good to quit writing entirely. I did qui talk other writing. Keep wondering why , I or we blog.

    • Gretchen O'Donnell March 13, 2014 at 9:49 am #

      Clyde! I lost track of you! Glad to know you’re still around. It’s hard, that’s for sure, to balance everything. I’m still not certain how to proceed from here…

  7. elburtruk March 16, 2014 at 9:45 pm #

    hey hi … this is “orca visitor boy” talkin’ to ‘ya. i would love to see your column and whatever else you write for your paper (that you are getting paid for) because to me this would be inspirational and might even birth an epiphany or two along with the fact that i am impressed! so jeeze … this would be an easy way to continue posting and share with people outside the realm of your local paper, what you have written. i’d really like to see (because you’re getting paid to do it … ) your work! please consider. your friend … kurt

    • Gretchen O'Donnell April 8, 2014 at 10:32 am #

      I will be posting the link to my London article coming up at the end of the month. And yes, I can put other links on too as they come up for my column – good idea!

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